Alan Rickman, long time member of my band of heroes had died that morning, news arrived in an e-mail from a friend saying "you've probably heard the news about Alan Rickman's passing. I'm heartbroken. Just wanted to touch base and share my grief".
I had not heard or read about it yet, and went online straight away in hopes of the news being false… one of those hoax articles but it soon turned out to be true… the BBC does not do hoax...
I'm shellshocked.
Not many things hit me so hard that it leads to tears, I had no personal relation with mr Rickman, I've been a long time admirer of his body of work which made him part of my personal band of heroes. Heroes are supposed to be immortal, we think they will be there for all time. It hurts to realize they are not.
Metatron (Dogma), Hans Gruber (Die Hard), Colonel Brandon (Sense and Sensibility), the Sheriff of Nottingham (Robin Hood), He (Song of Lunch), Judge Turpin (Sweeney Todd) to just name a few in the diverse roles, all filmed to revisit at will. I was lucky enough to be awed as well by his stage work. Twice I jumped on a plane and flew out to various stages in Dublin and New York just for the opportunity to see him go back to his stage roots. I'm fortunate that I can make these decisions, for members of my little band of heroes I go to great lengths to see them work on stage, and I'm very glad that I did for mr Rickman. Such a talent, Stage presence to the hilt and that voice… oh that voice.
I had hoped to get another chance, to see his Lear, his take on Beckett, Pinter, another Ibsen, or perhaps one of his own original works, but it's not to be.
I was familiar with most of his work, but I did not know much about the person, other than that he was certainly very nice to - and patient with - his fans at stage door. In the last few days I've learned so much more about him. His friends, compatriots and coworkers took to the web and spoke beautiful words about their lost friend. They say he was funny, friendly, down to earth, the best of friends that always took the time to help, support and simply be there when they needed him. Who took an interest in their work, went to their plays, exhibits, arranged auditions. A private person, I learned he was in a relationship for 50 years with his wife, a man who was devoted, passionate, politically and socially engaged. A person anybody would be proud to call friend. The suddenness of this news made it feel unreal, and yet now, three days later I can feel some sort of consolation that until the end he could be the private person that he was. No rumors, no public displays. "Alan Rickman has died at the age of 69", it dropped like a bomb and rightly so.
I was mourning the loss of my hero, now I am also mourning the loss of the person. I feel deeply for all those that knew the real Alan Rickman, my deepest sympathies and heartfelt condoleances for his wife Rima, and his friends and family.
I hope I am the friend to my friends as he was to his, but I know I am probably not. If anything, this new knowledge of the man behind the artist I so admired, inspires me to try harder.
Epic Tea Time with Alan Rickman (Official HD Version)
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Links to some of the public tributes
Michael Billington - Alan Rickman a master of theatre who looked back in languor
Sean Biggerstaff
Daniel Radcliffe
JK Rowling
Emma Thompson
Ian McKellen
Stanley Tucci
Richard Curtis
Neil Kinnock
Patrick Stewart; Kate Winslet; Helen Mirren; Emma Thompson; Ian McKellen; Sigourney Weaver; Richard Wilson; Brian Cox; Ruby Wax; Harriet Walter; Stephen Poliakoff; Max Stafford-Clark; Zoe Wannamaker; Catherine Bailey; Janet Suzman
